Pushcart Chronicle #31  
The Ellis room (our drop in center) is empty and still. The trash cans have all been emptied, floors swept and mopped, and the doors are all locked. Only a small handful of staff are remaining at our base for the Holidays. I am among that group.

I awoke this morning, our first day of Christmas vacation that has been generously allotted to all staff, to find my self ironically sitting in the Ellis room. I am waiting for a package I ordered and since we have no doorbell or buzzer to ring, I am camping out with some coffee and my iPad. Not the most brilliant of my plans I assure you. I could be here until 8 PM. I have already been here for three hours. Don't ask why....it's a long story. So I decided to take the time to write some reflection on this past year of my ministry among the poor.

The 360 classroom has been freshly filled with eager new disciples and I am learning a whole new set of lessons from God. You see, for the first time, my class is filled with hungry believers that are already past drug addiction, but seeking a better quality of life. Wanting to move  past the shelters and streets, they show up daily to study, serve, eat, laugh, pray, cry, and love  one another. It's quite refreshing to finally have a group that does a good job of expressing gratitude for all that we are trying to do here.

What do I say to the women who asks me with tears in her eyes about where she will live and where she can work to send money back to her struggling family in Mexico? Or the man who has Social Security but is struggling to find housing he can afford on a fixed budget in this over priced city? I am finding its  not so much about walking with them in their brokenness as it as about just walking with them in faith for a better life. When I speak of "better life" I simply mean food, home, work. Things you and I might sometimes take for granted. (No offense intended to anyone one of you reading this).

With the spiritual bases covered, much of my time is spent in the practical with my street friends. Walking to housing appointments, helping schedule dental care, applying for ID's or birth certificates. I see this all as Gods grace in my life however, as it is a vastly different set of obstacles than say what I am used to...Alcoholics and drug addicts who make  little to no effort to change their lives and go around assuming the world owes them everything. Yes it's true, I was once an addict and acted just like that but at some point repentance must come in order for a person to receive Gods gift of forgiveness.

I won't be returning to work until January 9th, 2012. To be honest it's been a difficult year and this is a much needed break. My personal financial support level is at an all time low ($600 monthly...it needs to be like $1,500) and I am exhausted from those financial burdens. Also, I have now been working with the homeless for five straight years and am feeling a little burned out, so to speak. Fear not though, I am not about to walk away from anything. I am to stubborn for that and I intend to fulfill my commitments to God.

The thought that my life is making an impact in a good way in this world, however small it may be, I find comforting. At the very least I can lay my head on my pillow at night knowing I am doing my best to shine for God 's Glory, despite my own insecurities and sin issues. Maybe that's all a man can do in this life Amen?

I realize that my faith comes from reading about a man named Jesus who walked around some two thousand years ago talking about "The Kingdom come...". I never met Him. I always wonder how He would engage a cracked out homeless guy, but somehow I continue to rely on the faith Our Father has given me. Even if I don't understand why a great many things are the way they are. I just know that life without Christ is an impossible nightmare of despair.

With Gods grace I will press forward. Sometimes with a limp... well maybe always with a limp. Jesus set me free from a life of despair and gave me something to hope for. I intend to offer that same hope to anyone who will listen till my dying day. Is there anything worth living for beyond that?

Hug and kiss your loved ones and families this Christmas. Be grateful to God for them, and tell them (and show them) often how much you love them. It's His Grace, and only His Grace that gives us what we have.

I am grateful to God for all of you. Your love, support, friendship, and prayers has encouraged me to keep the faith and fight the good fight. Have a most blessed Christmas and a very happy, and hopeful, New Years. Amen.

Yours in Christ,

Michael